Alissa Walker Bait

"EL_ULY" (uly)
12/28/2015 at 14:10 • Filed to: mamadas tan temprano

Please, add to this OPPO. !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! of the LOLs

I live in a big city. According to Alissa, cars should be banned in all big cities. I’d have to walk 43.5 miles to visit my brother. That’s 14.2 hours according to Google. We can’t afford to live in !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!!

So again, miss ironic last name...

Lol nah it’s all good homie. You are entitled to your opinion. Friends? :]

DISCUSSION (69)

OPPOsaurus WRX > EL_ULY
12/28/2015 at 14:15

I rode my mountain bike to my cousins house. It was 9.75 miles, about 45 minutes. Not something I would want to do each time I went there.

pjhusa > EL_ULY
12/28/2015 at 14:15

HAH. I LEFT MILAN YESTERDAY.

CB > EL_ULY
12/28/2015 at 14:17

I mean, it’s a decent idea to consider, but it’s also important to understand why it won’t work (yet).

DrJohannVegas > EL_ULY
12/28/2015 at 14:17

Kinja'd!!!

EL_ULY > OPPOsaurus WRX
12/28/2015 at 14:18

dang, I don’t think i’d i’ve been that far in a bike, kudos. My 240lbs ass would take way longer lol :] But of course, everyone in Alissa’s world is in perfect shape and live 200 feet from work and family

EL_ULY > pjhusa
12/28/2015 at 14:19

quick question, how is the food there?

EL_ULY > CB
12/28/2015 at 14:19

Kinja'd!!!

EL_ULY > DrJohannVegas
12/28/2015 at 14:20

Jimmy eat world :]

aberson Bresident of the FullyAssed Committe > EL_ULY
12/28/2015 at 14:22

Kinja'd!!!

damn these things get better looking every year

OPPOsaurus WRX > EL_ULY
12/28/2015 at 14:25

if i had a better bike it wouldn;t have been bad. It was a mountain bike, so there was a lot of resistance. had it been a street bike it would have been easier. I got about half way there and was pretty much done.

Takuro Spirit > EL_ULY
12/28/2015 at 14:27

When I was young and horny I rode my bike from the south side to the north side of Milwaukee. It was about ten miles one way.

I did it several times.

I was horny.

Brickman > EL_ULY
12/28/2015 at 14:30

If Alexander the Great can walk across half the world and create an enormous empire then you can walk across a city :P

PS9 > CB
12/28/2015 at 14:33

I don’t think it would ever work. “Do you have reliable transportation?” Is the first question every single employeer has asked me in an interview. I can only speak for my state, but the public transportation system here is a joke. It is not-at-all up to the task of handing even it’s current transit load. A car ban would break it in half without serious prolonged investment, and where’s that going to come from? Not from the state legislature, that’s for fucking sure. Banning cars in central florida = locking millions of people into poverty with no hope of escape.

Come back after 1k years or so of the continued city-fication of planet earth where every single thing you need is in walking distance, and maybe banning cars can work then. Maybe. The cars aren’t the problem; the emissions are. Making cars pollute less (and eventually, not at all) is the actual solution to this problem.

EL_ULY > Brickman
12/28/2015 at 14:34

LOL my ass buddy :]

EL_ULY > Takuro Spirit
12/28/2015 at 14:35

Justified sir. I know your pain :]

EL_ULY > OPPOsaurus WRX
12/28/2015 at 14:36

shit man I bet. I used to bike to work in San Antonio. Pretty much a straight 3 mile line but it was one big ass hill to get there. Gravity sucks

EL_ULY > aberson Bresident of the FullyAssed Committe
12/28/2015 at 14:36

Oh yes! And the prices keep droping

djmt1 > EL_ULY
12/28/2015 at 14:39

She should really come live here in London for a while. We literally have every thing she wanted in her other article from communal bicycles to a comprehensive public transport network to a tax on cars entering the centre of the city yet car ownership increases year on year here. People still need cars.

aberson Bresident of the FullyAssed Committe > EL_ULY
12/28/2015 at 14:39

I put some nice burnout gifs in there :)

Birddog > EL_ULY
12/28/2015 at 14:42

I have a cousin that shares her views. The whole world would be better off if we got rid of cars, ate only Farm to Table foods, shopped local even if it costs more and smoked a little more herb.

I can’t wait until the real world sucker punches him right in the throat.

PS9 > EL_ULY
12/28/2015 at 14:42

Kinja'd!!!

Ban cars? Nah. We don’t need to stop making cars. We just need to make better ones.

Bman76 (no it doesn't need a WS6 hood) M. Arch > EL_ULY
12/28/2015 at 14:44

The reality is that this is a more complex and difficult issue than either side wants to admit. I’m a car guy like there’s no tomorrow but I’m also an Architecture grad, and if anything will make you hate what cars do to cities, it’s that.

(Also, Houston is one of the worst cities in this regard as its lack of zoning has lead to chaotic/no city planning and sprawl)

PS9 > Brickman
12/28/2015 at 14:45

BUT HE ONLY HAD TO DO THAT ONCE!

DoYouEvenShift > EL_ULY
12/28/2015 at 14:46

Kinja'd!!!

Dude, just get one of these motorized 2 stroke bicycles. Fuel efficient and save the enviroment.

XJDano > EL_ULY
12/28/2015 at 14:49

I had to do the biannual state safety & emissions inspection on my wife’s car last year. Dropped it off no problem, but when it came time to pick it up I decided to bike there on my new to me trek. About 11 miles and a stop after 3 for a break at my office/ warehouse for water in the 90+° September. Nope. I don’t see how business like independent contractors would survive when my warehouse is 3 miles from me, but the job sites are mostly in the city, 24-80 miles from my residence.

Although to stop driving on the weekend would do, that’s my personal day to go places with my family, and towing 2 kids around with a bike trailer ain’t happening, we tried that 2 years ago for exercise. Talk about a work out, wear out. Even the gal at the bike shop said she gives us props for luggin’ around the whiney rug rats.

They have since gained weight & I sold bike trailer at garage sale for like $10 because it was free to me (+Costs of inner tubes. )

EL_ULY > aberson Bresident of the FullyAssed Committe
12/28/2015 at 14:49

YES!!!!!!!!!

EL_ULY > djmt1
12/28/2015 at 14:51

Mexico DF is the same way and cars are still 100% needed

OPPOsaurus WRX > EL_ULY
12/28/2015 at 14:53

gravity is a bitch, i was doing some downhill biking and hit a hole in the path. gravity won that day. I’m pretty sure I had a concision.

Nibbles > EL_ULY
12/28/2015 at 14:57

I ride the public transport five days a week to work and back. Any more than that and I’d likely go batshit.

I walked home from work once. Took 4 hours. Never again.

EL_ULY > OPPOsaurus WRX
12/28/2015 at 14:57

fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck! damn dude that must of sucked big time

EL_ULY > XJDano
12/28/2015 at 14:59

Yeah dude especially in your line of work. But in Alissa’s world..... fuck, how can any blue collar job exist?

EL_ULY > DoYouEvenShift
12/28/2015 at 15:00

lol!!!!!!!! Awesome image :]

EL_ULY > Bman76 (no it doesn't need a WS6 hood) M. Arch
12/28/2015 at 15:02

My brother is an Architect here. He likes the freedom he has in Houston on the commercial side. Especially just out of city limits. Businesses love Houston, especially a bazillion giant warehouses being built here for oil companies in the last 10 years. Just in A/C, some are pushing 950 tons!

EL_ULY > PS9
12/28/2015 at 15:03

very true sir!

EL_ULY > Birddog
12/28/2015 at 15:03

lol!!!!!! :]

EL_ULY > Nibbles
12/28/2015 at 15:07

4 hours? wtf!!!!!! Insanitary! Down in Mexico DF, public transport is ultra efficient and very practical. But you still need cars and trucks for a bazillion reasons!

What is your best NYC public transport story (wtf moment) ?

Bman76 (no it doesn't need a WS6 hood) M. Arch > EL_ULY
12/28/2015 at 15:10

I can imagine the freedom is nice, however it’s also extremely detrimental to the urban fabric. What’s good for companies is often not the best for human scale.

Nibbles > EL_ULY
12/28/2015 at 15:13

I dunno, never been to NYC :)

Here in Denver though I don’t have many stories. If it wasn’t for the buses always running late (ALWAYS) from my house to the Park-n-Ride, my rides would be unremarkable. Instead I’m generally filled with enough ragefuel to get me through the day each morning as I walk in to the office 15-20 minutes late >:*

OPPOsaurus WRX > EL_ULY
12/28/2015 at 15:14

yea it took me a few minutes to reboot. i was speaking just a bunch of mumbles and everything was super saturated and blurry. The bike came down on top of me and the rear gear set cut a bunch of semi’circles in my knee. it could have been waaayyyy worse. i landed on grass and not a bunch of rocks. I wear a helmet every time now.

smobgirl > Nibbles
12/28/2015 at 15:16

It’s pretty much faster for me to ride my bike anywhere in Denver than rely on buses. Especially once you start crossing county lines.

EL_ULY > Bman76 (no it doesn't need a WS6 hood) M. Arch
12/28/2015 at 15:19

true, but there’s plenty of room to cause harm. Urban areas are ultra high dollar for any business here. All the homes here are seriously like 3 feet apart and up to 4 stories high lol.

Sample 1

Sample 2

Sample 3

Nibbles > smobgirl
12/28/2015 at 15:20

I’d probably agree if I had a bike to ride

Also no way in hell am I doing that in this weather :\

The Googs says my bike to work would be ~1 hr. I leave for the bus at 5:32 and get in the office at 7:20. I may have to get a bike and try this come spring time

jariten1781 > EL_ULY
12/28/2015 at 15:27

In Ms. Walker’s world visiting family is quaint and very 20th century. If they’re not a walkable distance you’ve got Skype and shit (just like you can telework for every job ever if their pie in the sky transport options don’t work for your employment).

EL_ULY > Nibbles
12/28/2015 at 15:28

Lol totally confused yiu with the great and powerful Nibby. Still though, i can’t even :(

EL_ULY > OPPOsaurus WRX
12/28/2015 at 15:29

You stronger than me dude. I wouldn’t ride again after that

EL_ULY > jariten1781
12/28/2015 at 15:32

lol sound like a nice place that should be implemented world wide ASAP!

LOLOLOLOLoL!!!!!!!!

smobgirl > Nibbles
12/28/2015 at 15:36

Yeah, not worth it right now! I like it sometimes because it keeps you to smaller roads and people there are less road-ragey.

Nibbles > EL_ULY
12/28/2015 at 15:37

LOL guess that’s what I get for disappearing for a few months

Dr_Watson > Brickman
12/28/2015 at 15:52

He had elephants though...

willkinton247 > EL_ULY
12/28/2015 at 15:57

Kinja'd!!!

Houston is pretty much the middle finger of cities to Alissa. Zero planning. If she went there, she’d probably have an aneurysm.

In fact, she’d probably give a solution like, “The only long-term solution, however, is to nuke Houston, four or five times, and rebuild everything to my liking immediately.”

EL_ULY > willkinton247
12/28/2015 at 16:16

Lol that would be the only way this place could fit her strict floor plan. We are going to need a lot of petroleum powered heavy machinery to make this happen

Bman76 (no it doesn't need a WS6 hood) M. Arch > EL_ULY
12/28/2015 at 16:20

Yep, urban areas are not ideal for industry. The U.S. has never really set boundaries for cities and over the course of 100 years we’ve ended up where we are now. We have to acknowledge that.

The flip side is that we aren’t set up like European cities, so we can’t draw straight comparisons between Milan (or Prague) and Houston. That’d just be silly. We have a very different urban history and infrastructure.

We can’t ban all cars in an entire city, but banning private vehicles in some city cores will probably be an eventuality.

EL_ULY > Bman76 (no it doesn't need a WS6 hood) M. Arch
12/28/2015 at 16:25

True true. Eventually but the most impact would be if it was done in China or India somewhere over Seattle or Salt Lake City

pip bip - choose Corrour > EL_ULY
12/28/2015 at 17:09

Kinja'd!!!

gib!!

EL_ULY > pip bip - choose Corrour
12/28/2015 at 17:17

ALL THE GIBS!

Sam > EL_ULY
12/28/2015 at 17:22

If cars were banned, I’d have to drop out if college. I commute to campus and it’s a 4.9hr walk. I would literally never be able to sleep, because I would walk home and have to turn right around and head back.

pjhusa > EL_ULY
12/28/2015 at 17:32

First and second days were meh, but we didn’t seek those out. Yesterday and today were great. You can go check out some stuff I’ve written here, for there are conveniently placed links here:

http://liveandletdiecast.kinja.com/oppo-amg-gt-go…

http://oppositelock.kinja.com/i-am-feeling-t…

http://oppositelock.kinja.com/oppo-car-photo…

http://liveandletdiecast.kinja.com/oppo-amg-gt-go…

http://oppositelock.kinja.com/oppo-amg-gt-go…

EL_ULY > Sam
12/28/2015 at 18:21

See? Alissa hates you!

fintail > EL_ULY
12/28/2015 at 18:45

Funny thing, I wonder how she gets around - from what I’ve read she lives in LA, most of which has a marginal public transit system. Probably from an affluent suburban family with a couple SUVs in the garage. Amusing that Gawker allows her to run her crusade as journalism, but consider the source I guess.

I am not in a big city proper, but I am in a crowded boomburb in a decent sized metro area that can have the same often in winter inversion-pollution issues she’s now whining about in Italy. I think I’ll drive this old thing this weekend and think of her. It predates all emissions equipment, probably cancels out about 3 dozen Prius as soon as I turn the key :)

Kinja'd!!!

EL_ULY > fintail
12/28/2015 at 18:47

Lol i figured the same about her. 100% spot on fintail

Tapas > EL_ULY
12/28/2015 at 21:14

Cant live in SoDoSoPa? How about CtPa? (ShittyPa)?

I think Houston’s CtPa would be China town. Not only does it have a Chinese restaurants (like in South Park), it is also a shitty part of Houston. And coincidentally, its closer to your work and brother :D

But I wouldn’t go outside past 10 in a BMW Coupe lol

EL_ULY > Tapas
12/28/2015 at 21:36

Lol sooo true!

NJAnon > EL_ULY
12/28/2015 at 21:42

Well Alissa’s heart is in the right place. And that’s cool that folks should discuss that major transportation for the future and the kids, but theres no way that some change is happening start today.

It would take years. And last I saw, I didn’t see any mayors or senators, etc. scrambling to any conference rooms to talk about it so......

EL_ULY > NJAnon
12/28/2015 at 21:50

Oh indeed. She is going about it the wrong way though and I doubt any politician will ever be as passionate. Something extremely drastic would have to happen first (typical America)

David E. Davis > fintail
12/29/2015 at 09:15

that is one gorgeous car.

NJAnon > EL_ULY
12/29/2015 at 16:26

Well even without a drastic event, it would still take years. You’d essentially be re-configuring industries’ prior decades of business and turn and tell them “hey, this is the situation now...”. You would imagine that there will be some that can transition & some that don’t want to transition.

Some concrete, esoteric, foresight backed, contingent plan would have to be created to handle it all and the nuance stuff that is above our pay grades here at oppositelock. :P

EL_ULY > NJAnon
12/29/2015 at 16:43

LOL exactly. Literally millions of variables that would have to change

Phil > EL_ULY
03/08/2016 at 21:01

It appears as though this screenshot was taken while you were in Houston's answer to SoDoSoPa, Westheimer & The Loop/ Galleria

EL_ULY > Phil
03/08/2016 at 21:04

The blue dot is at my job at Star Motor Cars Aston,Volvo,Lotus Mercedes